Side Effects

I think that one of the unusual side effects of being a Carer is that is quite easy to forget about caring for oneself, one just tends to manage,to make do, because the focus is never internal, that is until exhaustion or sickness take over and it becomes a necessity.

People always tell me to "take care of myself" I must say most of the time it bothers me, not that their concern (which is often genuine) is misplaced, but that after a day of thinking, worrying, and being constantly attuned to someone else, It just seems like an impossible thing to do. I barely feel like I have the head space to think about myself, and then if I do I don't like focusing on the fact that my body is aching from the lifts of the day, so I get into what I call Catch 22 Head space.

Catch 22 Head Space is knowing that you need to do something for yourself, (like take a rest) giving yourself a valid reason not to do it, (it's selfish because the person your caring for has to wait) then feeling lousy that you didn't listen to yourself, (your back feels buggered and a break would have helped) this kind of thinking can be applied to all areas of life not just care work.

Aahhh guilt, you have to love it! and the joke is I believe it is mostly self imposed, I don't know any other carers but I think that this is a universal similarity, because as much as genuine kindness and love are motivating factors to being a carer, guilt is an enormously powerful one.